Very often in our lives we do not get what we deserve - there is not enough love, care, attention from our relatives, children, partners, friends, despite all the diligence we put into the relationship. Ie. as I recently read in a good book, "we use insanely a lot of time to cook and cook biscuits around the world around us, but there is no one to think about." Do we wonder why it is?
One of the main reasons for this is the lack of self-esteem. When a person lacks self-esteem, he finds it difficult to cope in society, even in relations with the closest ones, in daily communication with the surrounding.
Such a person is dysfunctional, can not reap the potential. To function fully for all people we need self-esteem, in short, this is the ability and willingness to take care of ourselves.
The reasons for the lack of self-esteem are rooted mainly in our childhood, in the ways in which we were born. No one can change their past, we can only accept it, forgive, to move forward. But understanding the causes to some extent can help everyone to take care of and overcome deficits to become a good parent for themselves and, in turn, to parenting their children in a good way.
The reasons for lack of self-respect can be many:
Strongly critical parents build and impart to the child the thought and the notion that they will never do well enough with their duties and will always be number two in comparison to their companions and peers. Increased criticism and disapproval create a sense of guilt that you are not good enough to meet the requirements of childhood important authorities such as parents. The so-called "others" always have the championship and their needs are always at the forefront of yours.
Too much pampering prevents the growing of the baby and the construction of a mature individual. This is inability to take responsibility for oneself and others, including an inability to build self-esteem and self-esteem towards the surrounding.
Parental overwear and caresses on the other hand also prevent the child from building his self-esteem. Often over-care of their children, their parents hinder their normal growth and development. Overpopulation prevents the child from building his or her autonomy and independence, creating a pathological dependence and self-confidence.
Parental disregard and disregard is another reason, which in the childhood also creates a sense of inferiority and insignificance, which is then expressed in the fear of manifesting and self-proclaiming in your relationship with others. Every child needs respect and respect. Putting money into toys, material benefits does not work and can not replace the need for emotional and psychological support, trust and understanding by the significant adult. Rejection goes hand in hand with neglect and disregard. It is the feeling that you are unwanted in your family.
Significant childhood casualties often leave lasting traces in the child's psyche - this may be parental death, a heavy divorce or separation from one of the parents in the family. When the survival of these losses has not been successfully overcome and copied over time, children in a long period of their development feel rejected and left out of their most important close. Often such a lack leads to building and stabilizing the sense of lack of self-acceptance and self-esteem.
Physical violence and abuse, as well as psychic "castration", greatly harm the mentally and emotionally teenage individual. Such people become violent themselves or continue their lives as a voluntary victim of a new abuser. The known behavior of the abuser is recognized as something normal and even to some extent becomes vitally necessary for the "victim".
Alcohol abuse and drug abuse among parents is another existing reason for lack of self-esteem. A child growing up in such an environment from a fragile age is learning to unwind parenting, taking care of them, taking decisions instead of taking the stigma on the part of society to have incomplete or "sick" ill-accepted in the parent society. This inevitably undermines self-confidence and prevents self-realization.